Getting Past My F’Up D15 22/05/21

Day 15 22/05/2021

I find our coffee mugs are a good metaphor for our ship’s hierarchy.

Cap Thomas has a white mug with three Orange stripes of tape: 30 years experience, became a skipper in his early twenties and is held in the highest regard by all his crew and peers.

Patoch has a white mug with one Orange stripe: He started sailing late in life, but is capable of sailing his own ship. He is a trustworthy strong second, but has no interest in leading and is still keen to learn.

Els has a cute blue mug that says “En Pause, Ne Pas Déranger”: She is essential to the ship and cooks food the guys never experienced on a Transat, but doesn’t handle much of the sailing.

My mug is plain white.

I have much to learn and I’ve been trying to outwork everyone to gain my stripes, cleaning dishes, heavy lifting, jumping into water, and pumping without stopping, but I made my first mistake, and it’s weighing on me. After receiving difficult news my head was elsewhere, I fell asleep waiting for an email that might not come leaving a slit of my side window open, the next morning I had forgotten and was waken by a wave slapping me awake. Part of my sleeping bag got wet, my sheets, and a corner of my mattress was soaking. This is nothing but a good lesson, but I feel I’ve somewhat let down my Captain due to the impact on a product that was meant to be delivered new, all because of a rookie mistake. Thomas is an exceedingly generous nice guy and made none of it but…

The Stoic philosophy got me through a lot in college, I’m now reminded of two lessons: I. Look for the best, prepare for the worst. II. Accept the things you can’t control with serenity. I was prepared to make mistakes and I can’t change the past, but I was in control of the cracked window, and now I have to work towards putting it behind me.

This expedition was full of hurdles I feel I’ve been acing since the departure in Casablanca, that’s why Day 1 is Dakar and not the departure from La Rochelle. As long as I had my momentum, the added challenges felt like bonus achievements. The added challenges have caught up with me and have become a worthy stepping stone to the man I want to become. How to get out of a blues? I’m not sure yet, but I’ve decided to lose myself in a good book and work harder, if only for my own pride.

I’m with you in spirit.

Much Love,

DT