Grinning Old Fool D37 14/06/21

As we approach the latter end of our expedition it is getting harder to avoid boredom, alas I’ve lost the thrill of watching the wind defy my understanding of physics as I piss into it. A few days ago as I entertained myself by developing workout plans on excel, I noticed Patoch sitting on the edge of the ship facing the sea. Without ever having a clear sight of his face or distractions other than the ocean facing him, I could swear he was smiling, what’s intriguing is how genuine it seems.

Every now and then I could remember catching my father smiling at a moment of calm or serenity, almost a reminder to stay in the present and enjoy the little things, but it seemed a smile from the mind, not the gut. With little better to do, I intended on finding out what the old fool was grinning at, however asking seemed counterintuitive, like something that can’t or shouldn’t be explained with words.

Given the horizon is both endless and identical I set out to find a comfortable, isolated spot. You’d think the same endless sight would get tedious but it only takes a few moments for me to tumble down the rabbit hole. Looking for patterns in the ocean’s hectic disorder, studying the ship’s movement, sight wandering, and mind wondering. With the occasional “What am doing with my life?”, “We are a speck of dust in the universe?”, and the eventual “All in all it’s alright, I mean this is pretty dope right?”

Until one day, after an hour or two of staring into the horizon, contemplating the void that is my professional future, I noticed Patoch sitting behind me staring in the same direction with that grin… intrigued by my gaze.

I haven’t found my answer… perhaps he stopped looking for one.